A Year After (What has become of us?)
Musings 02: I mean I'm so used to writing letters in the "early pandemic" setting...
Іt’ѕ mе. Ні. І’m thе рrоblеm, іt’ѕ mе. No one told you that it’s a weekly or a monthly newsletter, right? Alas, it’s actually annual!! Haha not even sure if I’m kidding or not. Going back to the Anti-Hero lyricism that I relate to:
І hаvе thіѕ thіng whеrе І gеt оldеr but јuѕt nеvеr wіѕеr
Міdnіghtѕ bесоmе mу аftеrnооnѕ
Whеn mу dерrеѕѕіоn wоrkѕ thе grаvеуаrd ѕhіft
I just finished another travel around the sun — I don’t think I’m wiser, but definitely older. Just the other day, my friends and I were talking about if Memo Plus Gold is actually working because we feel like we already need it! I also enjoy my midnights these days. I need to reconcile with myself and accept the fact that I’m a nocturne and not pretend to be an early riser. The quietness of the night allows me to listen to and process my (usually loud) thoughts. I would love to share that most are happy ones… not. It’s been shadows-filled. Anyway, thank you TS for those lyrics I need not think of an intro haha!
So… How are you? I mean how are you really — beyond the “I’m okay” and “I’m fine.”? Can you quickly take a moment to respond or comment down below (this feels like a YouTube thing lol). I mean please do so, it will MEAN A LOT. Plus, I also miss my readers whom I’ve been having an exchange back in early pandemic (GRABE CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WAS IN 2020??). I also feel like I have a better bandwidth dealing online than “face to face”. So come on, allow ourselves to feel this humanness.
Lately, I just wanna be hidden.
I’ve reread my newsletter from a year ago, that it prompted me to write this. I’m a much positive ball that time despite what I wrote. I can still remember the emotions typing down those thoughts. I mentioned being in a transition. I, however, didn’t expect to be stuck here. What has become of me? After a year, I feel like I should have accomplished more, be someone better, be in a better state, or as simple as acquire things of worldly standards to judge if you’ve made it in life or not. Nothing of those sorts. I feel like I’ve taken a few steps back, have fallen inside a pit I didn’t really see and dug myself deeper than ever before. That’s where I am now. This wasn’t part of the plan. Ang lalim.
But we will deal with it. We just have to. Maybe taking a few steps back allows me to see the wider picture of things ahead of me; so I could pace myself better; so I could see clearly the directions what to take; so I could see obstructions that I wouldn’t have seen when I was closer to what seemed like my destination. This pit? I’ve been here before. That cliche of ‘noway but up’? I’ve heard that many times. Maybe being inside another pit will make me appreciate looking up better. Firstly, to my Creator. My spiritual life dwindled the past year. I allowed myself to be caught up in this world. Maybe in looking up I’d see the blue and even the grey skies with more appreciative eyes not distracted by any other view. As I surely climb up and get out of this pit, I will put my efforts to cover it. Cos, girl, this is gonna be the last time.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
-Psalm 51:20, NIV
Okay enough of this gloominess. This is me, just being human.
Unsolicited updates
Remember the last time I told you about a project I worked on with Rizza? It’s almost a year since we released it. In fact you can get them at a discount, and as my favorite readers, you get 25% off. Just respond to this mail after browsing through at missmeriedesigns.com. Really few stocks and sizes left!
Celebrated my birthday with family and nature. Hopefully next year I could spend it traveling abroad again because I miss it too much!
Just recently, I visited the Ayala Museum with family! Its entrance fee is quite expensive but I do hope you get to visit it too!
Recommendations
So we’re back to recommending!
To read.
I’ll stick with those I’ve read in the past year. Hard to choose but for starters:
Sayaka Murata, Convenience Store Woman
Michelle Zauner, Crying in H Mart
Susan Cain, Bittersweet
To watch.
Liberation Notes, Korean Drama
I feel like this is an underrated series of this year. This made me laugh, cry and laugh-cry. I love each scene most especially scenes depicting the normality of life. If you are into slices of life stories, this is very much one, with hints of kilig, I highly recommend this one.
Assassination Classroom, Anime
Feel good and lessons-filled. Quite an uncanny plot but aren’t anime series made of such? This was recommended by a client and it did not disappoint!
Everything, Everywhere All At Once, Movie
The only 2022 movie I watched this year haha! IT. IS. SO. GOOD! I find it hard to articulate why I love it. I watched this first half of this year. I found it interesting that the directors are the writers themselves hence they were able to adapt it better I guess? My takeaway: home is our loved ones — even when we find it hard to find meaning and joy in this age, we can always start with our loved ones.
To visit.
I’m adding this new segment here and I’ll start with a coffee shop for now.
Curious Coffee, BF Homes Paranaque.
Great coffee. Not so flashy. And now houses Isip Kwago — a reading advocate — so yes you get to read for free rin!
That’s about it. Maybe I should greet you an advance happy holidays? Just in case it’ll take me another year to write. Haha!
Stay amused. Stay inspired. Stay human.
Merie C.
Human being
P.s. I can’t think of any word yet for 2023, how about you?
Sabi mo mag comment so here I am haha! :) I feel like I'm trying to go through the motions lately. I'm not exactly the happiest, but at the same time, I'm not as miserable as I was before. I've been training a lot for my upcoming run (the reason I'm missing Mamamoo in Manila UGH). It's been great to feel progress but at the same time I keep on questioning myself for my choices haha! Maybe it's just me overthinking and adding *drAma* to my life, but it's been mostly that. I hope you're doing okay, Merie!!! And I hope I could hang out with you to unpack life charet haha! Happy Holidays in advanced :p